Frodo's Diary
by candeebarz
Summary: Kinda funny in my view. Can't tell you what it's about. Please read. R&R! Chap. 8 up!
1. Entry 1

Note: In this passage, you will note that there are various misspellings.  
Do not mind these. This stupid hobbit cannot write. Thank you for your  
patience.  
  
Frodo's Diary according to Cecilia Gray  
  
Dear Journal,  
Today I woke up in a huge bed, in Rivendell. As I walked around, I found Sam, Merry, and Pippin at a huge tabel (if that is how you spell tabel) filled with food, and other people sitting in chairs. I asked what the food was for, and a dwarf told me that the food was to eat. I did not understand what that meant, for Gandalf claimed I was never a bright one (which is true). Right before I was about to sit down, an elf that claimed his name was Legolas, patted my back very forcefully. I asked him why he patted me, but he couldn't help laughing as he walked away.  
I touched my back to scratch it, when a paper magically appeared! I tried my best to read it, but I could only make out the letters: K-I-C-K-M- E. I decided that it was some sort of Elvin language. I also saw a note that was written in English. I could read this. It said:  
  
You must attend the meeting tomorrow at noon. Come to the "Council Table".  
  
I could read all the words, but I had to ask Gandalf what noon meant. He told me it meant twelf o' clock in the afternoon the next day.  
The thing I am about to write is top secret. But then again, that's what a diary is for, so what the heck. During the Food Celebration (at least I think it was a Food Celebration) I saw a very attractive looking dwarf. He had a red colored beard, very nicely braided. I never found out was his name was. (Sigh) He was so beautiful.  
Well, I must stop writing. I have a feeling that some one is reading this.  
  
Yours truly,  
Frodo 


	2. Entry 2

Entry #2  
  
Dear Journal,  
I found myself going on a quest with eight other people. That elf, Legolas, a dwarf named Gimli (the one with the nicely braided beard), Gandalf, Strider (found out his name was Aragorn), Boromir (a prince from Gondor), Sam, Merry, and Pippin are my companions. To many people if you ask me. I hope no one dies. Especially Boromir. Being a prince must mean he has a great life in Gondor. I don't think I'll get hurt because Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Gandalf, and Boromir are very skilled with weapons. I have to ask Legolas what K-I-C-K-M-E means. I'm sure he'd know. He speaks Elvish. I found a paper on the floor that was written in a symbolic writing. I don't know what it's called but I know how to read it. It said:  
  
On the journey you will find a rock. Throw it down some sort of pit. Wait until you hear it hit the bottom. If you do not complete this task, you will face the horror of-  
  
And that was all. But I still don't know what K-I-C-K-M-E means!  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo 


	3. Entry 3

Entry #3  
  
Dear Journal,  
Been on the journey for.six days now. I have to skip a lot of my regular meals. No second breakfast, eleventies, luncheon, after noon tea, or dinner. We all only get first breakfast and supper. I mean, just because they're on a diet doesn't mean I am!  
I wonder if Aragorn is going to teach us how to use our swords. I'm just acting like I know how to use it. At first I thought they gave them to us just to look good. That's what us hobbits thought, at least. Oh-yeah, before we left Rivendell, Bilbo gave me a sword named Sting. I don't see why swords have names. It's kind of childish in my view. Aragorn's sword's name is Narsil. At first I thought it was nostril. My finger hasn't had a journey in there for a long time. Perhaps I should consider it.  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo 


	4. Entry 4 and 5

Entry #4  
  
Dear Journal,  
Boromir is teaching Merry and Pippin to use their swords a little better than before. That's not fair to me. Stupid Aragorn. He hasn't taught me anything. Holy crap. Legolas sees stupid birds. Now he wants us to hide. I'm afraid that I'll ruin the manicure that Sam just gave me! Stupid Aragorn. He's making me find under a really big rock thingy. How uncomfortable. Stupid birds. Good, now they're leaving. Aragorn hit Legolas because.he's jealous of his hair. That was random. Oh-yeah, nail-injury scanning.nope, I don't see any owies. Stupid Gandalf. He won't let me wear his hat. What's this? He's letting Sam try on the hat? This is so.rrrrr. Remember that note I got that said I'd find a rock?  
  
*Isn't that cute? He thinks the diary can actually hear him. Aaawwww. *  
  
Well, guess what I found. A rock! I'm so happy.  
  
Entry #5  
  
Dear Journal,  
The Caradharas became very snowy all of a sudden. Gandalf says it is Saruman's doings. Stupid Saruman. Now we have to go through the Mines of Moria. Gandalf told me that it was a bad place. I don't want to go! Oh- yeah, that was my choice. Hehehehehe. 


	5. Entry 6 and 7

Entry #6  
  
Dear Journal,  
Mines of Moria is not a proper name. Tombs of Moria is better. At least that is what Boromir thinks. Gandalf is telling us to get out of the tombs. Holy crap! An octopus thingy is trying to eat me! Holy crap! The octopus thingy is actually a fifty-leg-apus! Stupid fifty-leg-apus. I hate the feel of slimey things. The tentacles are so icky. I have to ask Aragorn if he can save me. I'm sure it's okay with him. Please hold.......Okay, Boromir just caught me as I fell down. How comfy. My finger has to call a hotel so it can stay in my nose for a while. That nose isn't gonna clean itself by itself!  
  
Entry #7  
  
Dear Journal,  
Stupid Pippin. He knocked a dead body, a chain, and a bucket down a well that goes all the way down in Moria. Kinda sucks I think. Well at least I think so. Gandalf said, "Fool of a Took!" so it must mean something bad. Holy crap! My sword is glowing blue. You know what that means. It means that.it means.I know this.it means.Oh-yes, now I know! It means that my lunch is ready. Got to stop writing right now. I have to eat my meal.  
Later.(ten seconds later)  
  
Gandalf asked me what I was doing when I was getting ready to eat and I said eating. Then he said, "Fool of a Baggins". I wonder what that meant. Holy crap! Gandalf said that my sword glowing blue means that orcs are near! Now Boromir says, "They have a cave troll." I hope that the cave troll will not break Balin's tomb. It looks like it was made from marble, white marble to be exact. Well, I better put my journal away now. I don't want any stupid orcs to read it. 


	6. Entry 8 and 9

Entry #8  
  
Dear Journal,  
Got out of Moria. Everyone did but Gandalf and my rock. First of all, Gandalf didn't get out because of the stupid Balrog. Stupid Balrog. It's his fault because he pulled him down a veryveryveryveryveryveryveryvery long and big pit. Last words of Gandalf "Fly, you fools." My rock didn't come out because the note said to throw it down a pit. The pit that Gandalf fell in was just perfect. So I threw it down. The note said to wait for it to hit the bottom, but I couldn't wait. You see, when Gandalf fell, I threw Gandalf down (the Gandalf I threw down was the name I gave to my rock) and I yelled "Gandalf" for my rock and Boromir picked me up and ran out of Moria. That's why I couldn't wait for it to hit the bottom. The note never said throwing the rock would be so emotional.Gandalf.  
  
Entry #9  
  
Dear Journal,  
In these woods called Lothlorien. Looks and feels creepy. Holy crap! A whole bunch of arrows are pointing at us. Some gay wad named Haldir is saying, "You have entered the Realm of the Lady of the Wood. Come, she is waiting." Oopsie. That was an important guy. Or so Aragorn says. Now I'm walking up a whole bunch of stairs. My feet hurt. I'm gonna ask Boromir to carry up like he did at the exit of Moria. 


	7. Entry 10

Entry #10  
  
Dear Journal,  
Last night I looked into Galadriel's mirror. I saw very scary things in there. First I saw Legolas (that wasn't the scary part), then I saw Sam (not scary either), then I saw orcs destroying Hobbiton, then Sam and Rose getting whipped by stupid orcs. Stupid orcs. Finally, I saw the Eye. Then I fell backwards. My back still hurts. Stupid back. Stupid fall. Stupid eye in the mirror. Stupid mirror. I asked Galadriel if she wanted to have the Ring. She started going ballistic. She turned all three dimensional and started yelling stuff. Something about in place of a dark lord I will have a queen. Personally, I don't know why I'd want a queen. Stupid queen. But then she said that she would go into the West and a whole bunch of other crap. Owwwwwwwieeeee! Galadriel can read minds and she read my thoughts, and she heard what I was thinking about stupid queen and now she's hurting me. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh.PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE! .Not to young? Get out of my head! Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just writing that. But that is what I was yelling a few seconds ago. The pain is gone now. Aaaaahhh. We have to leave now. Galadriel's giving out presents. She gave Sam a box filled with gardening dirt. Stupid dirt. Corny gift in my opinion. She gave me a pretty crystal thingy-ma-bobber. She said it was a star. Funny. I didn't know stars were this big. I thought they were smaller. Well, getting in boats now. I'm going with Aragorn and Sam. Boromir with Merry and Pippin and Legolas with Gimli. Have to go. Stupid nightfall is gonna come soon.  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo 


	8. Entry 11 and 12

Entry 11  
  
Deary Diary, : P  
In Amon Hen right now. I'm gonna go to the woods and wonder around like an idiot. Weeeee!  
  
Later.  
  
I heard Aragorn looking for me in the woods saying that he didn't want me wandering around in the woods like an idiot. Darn. Well, I was walking and I found Boromir (maybe he found me). He tried to take the ring from me. Stupid Boromir. I ran away from him and I met up with Aragorn. He said, "I would have gone with you to the end. Blah blah blah.-"a whole bunch of other stuff- ".run.RUN!" So I ran. I guess it was because some stupid orcs were coming to kill us. Stupid orcs. Have to go now. Sam won't row. I'll explain tomorrow.  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo  
  
Entry 12  
  
Deary Diary,  
I guess I have some explaining to do. First of all, I have switched to "Deary Diary" because it is sooo in style. Second of all, when I said, "Sam won't row." I meant he won't row a boat. When Aragorn said to run, I think he meant run to Mnt. Doom. I went to the boats to get to the eastern shore. As I was rowing by myself, Sam tried to swim after me. Sam can't swim but he can row. That's why he's with me. Now we are in Emyn Muil. Sam and I are looking at Mordor from afar. The Ring is almost as heavy as my feet!  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo 


	9. Entry 13, 14, and 15

Entry #13  
  
Deary Diary,  
Found Gollum. I threatened to kill him with Sting. He tried to take his "precioius" back. Now he's takin' us to the Black Gate cuz I wanted to go there (though I've forgotten why). All I know is that Mount Doom is in Mordor and Mordor is beyond the Black Gate. Oh-yes, I had to throw the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom. How dramatic.Well, we're out of Emyn Muil. Gollum is leading us through the Dead Marshes. It almost stinks as much as the Dead Marshes ("it" referring to Gollum). I found out that Gollum's real name is Smeagol (pronounced smEEgull). He used to be something like a hobbit. Strange hobbit name, I think I like Frodo better. Have to go now. Sam is finally going to let me sleep!  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo  
  
Entry #14  
  
Deary Diary,  
Very boring right now. Just walking.  
Later.  
Walking.  
Later.  
Walking.  
Later.  
Still walking.  
Later.  
Walking.  
Much much much much much later.  
Yes! We are stopping to take camp! It's about time. Holy crap! I just heard the shriek of a Ring Wraith. From the sky.  
"Wraiths on wings!" Gollum is yelling. Wonder what those wings stuff is all about. I don't know anythingbig enough to carry anyone except maybe a dragon.I know what it is! It's a dragon.DRAGON! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Gollum is running under the only thing that might conceal us.a bush. I should join.  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo  
  
Entry #15  
  
Deary Diary,  
I forgot to write that the Dead Marshes used to be a battlefield. Therefor with all the dead bodies, the sank into the swampy marsh stuff. So the bodies are floating and they are looking at me (well, not looking but looking with their eyes closed) at us. Stupid dead people. They scare me. Stupid fear. Have to go now.  
  
Yours Truly,  
Frodo 


End file.
